Down-Sizing and Liberation

Dear Reader,

I grew up in East Kentucky where we were taught to hang on to things so we could help our children "set up housekeeping". I'm not so sure that's the practice today, since young people tend to replace everything rather than hang on to it. I regret that my son talked me into junking my good sofa because it was in bad need of new upholstery. Kids go to Value City and buy sofas for 3-400 dollars. I still don't have a sofa, because to get one as good as I had would be 2-3000 dollars. So, I assume, eventually, I'll buy at the discount house myself.

Now, my best chair is in dire need of recovering, so I'm going to get some estimates. I simply cannot junk it. I'm beginning to identify with Mrs. Habersham from Dickens' Great Expectations. My furniture is ragged, I love old clothes, even with holes. I pull 20 year old stuff from my closet and, sometimes, they let me wear it. My granddaughter wants to put me on "What Not to Wear". She says adamantly, "It's not the age of the clothes,but the style. You just can't wear that"!

Today, as I downsize, yet again, from a 3-bedroom apartment to my daughter's upstairs studio/loft apartment, I have enough stuff to add furnishings to both my son's and daughter's homes, with left over junk to store. What will it be like to not have my favorite bed and no sofa?

My beautiful bed is too big to be carried up stairs to my loft, so I'll store it for awhile--at Tom's house. I have a great twin mattress and box springs that will suffice for both a sofa and a bed. I'm giving art to both grandchildren, including a really nice Elvis poster.I gave Dawson my piano, since he's a budding rock star and writes music.

That piano has been in my home for 40 years. I gave Tom and Dawson some coal-mining antiques, including an "as-mined" map of underground sections below my home of David, Kentucky. This map, a favorite piece, was given to me by an engineering friend more than 20 years ago. I also gave Tom Uncle Rob's gavel that he used as President of the UMWA in Wayland, Kentucky in the 40s--it was a prestigious position. I gave him some mining photos and a tie tack award Daddy won for safe mining when he was a section foreman in the 50s. I had always wanted to make Dawson a ring from it and I hope Tom will.

I plan to store Nova's Primitives for later display so they will be boxed for safe keeping. Savannah is getting my original oil-on-silk painting, another treasure given me by a good friend; an original art piece by Appalachian artist, Peggy Wells; and two Ruth Bernhard photos along with the companion book of her work.

I'll keep my 5 favorite Picasso prints that I found in NYC 25 years ago for $5 each. They are beautiful, rarely seen prints, and are my favorites. I'll also keep my original Appalachian art, by East Kentucky friends Mike Keesee, Ann Meade, and Tom Whittaker. Of course I'll keep my original charcoal nudes, by Lexington friend, Elsie Harris.

My latest addition is an original by Chris Eaton, abstract and colorful. I must keep it. Maybe artist/architect friend Maryam will come help me make the most use of my new space. My loft is rapidly filling up, isn't it? Maryam will probably suggest a midnight burning of my material chains.

Tom's been trying to get my beautiful glass, octagon table top for years. I'm holding out on that one. Today I took Mother's antique coffee grinder to Sandy's where I'll integrate my favorite kitchen stuff with hers--if she can tolerate me.

Tommy will take the Italian cutting board and framed poster with poem by Talleyrand--mementos from our coffeehouse days. I'm wondering who should take the Italian Mama Roe fondue pot and pitcher. Am I too old to have a fondue party? The loft may be the perfect place. My true friends like sitting on the floor anyway so having no sofa should be just fine.

Sandy is agreeing for me to put my book collection in her dining room. Will they all hate me when this move is final?

Why am I writing about these mundane things? We all know possessions have no real value. What is important is my ability to transition with grace. I'm thinking it will be awesome to re-identify my environment in some new and interesting way. The boxes of books and pictures will, somehow, set the tone.

I'm writing about this because I have realized that fewer possessions, fewer responsibilities, lower rent (smile), will afford me a higher style of freedom, yet keep me close to those I love.

I may be able to fly to Geneva, Switzerland and spend a couple of weeks with wonderful friends Jawahara Saidullah and her husband, Bijoy Sagar.They are 2 hours from Milan,Italy and 5 hours from Paris,France.I've never thought much about my own freedom, but now I know I've been held captive.

I talked to a friend today who is enjoying the same experience of giving things away. He likes being present to the pleasure his children and grandchildren experience with his treasures. We agreed a new form of liberation is possible.

With no strings of any magnitude, this coal-camp dreamer may be able to do some world traveling. My next dream is to visit friends in Australia--Melbourne in the south and Sidney in the North, England, Germany, and Southwest USA.


I yearn for hours of conversation, good meals and good wine with Bijoy, Jawahara, Geoffrey, Kathy, Fritzi, Barbara, Glenn y Patricia, and other friends I've missed over the years. Sobre Mesa, everyone!

Liberation may result from living in the loft!

Peace,
Judy

Afterthought: "Twice I was a mother, once I was a wife. Tore out all the pages and all that's left is life. Tomorrow, oh tomorrow, I wonder who I'll be. Got scrapbooks filled with photographs and none of them, not one of them is me."