Fixin' My Supper Last Night and Remembering: Comments from Readers

Here's my essay on Fixin' supper. I posted it on facebook and received so many good comments from friends, family, and Descendants of David Kentucky, I had to share. Read the essay and the comments. I hope you comment too. When I say "I need to fix supper", Northerners ask me if supper's "broke", kinda upsets me, but when I was a child and still today I "fix" most of my meals. Maybe it's a coal camp phrase, maybe it's a rural phrase, maybe it's a southern phrase, but some people just don't understand it. Or, they want to tease me--a little-like my students when I ask them if they got their "lessons". I say it on purpose knowing "homework" has been in vogue for half a century now.


This piece is about food, though, not language.


My friends and family know that I've been a proclaimed vegetarian for about 30+ years. Well recently, I admit to eating some of brother Johnny's fresh, homemade pork sausage. It was wonderful. About once a year I become a social carnivore and eat a fresh, organic hamburger and they do taste good, especially when I make sure where the beef came from. But I stay pretty faithful to my vegetarian life style--and eat soy burgers fried crisp with lots of seasoning and mustard and onions. Healthy and pretty good. Anything fried crispy is pretty good to me!


I have to be creative in fixing tasty old fashioned meals though. Actually, in our home, we grew up on vegetables with salt bacon often being the only meat on the table...we didn't like it, so the little saucer of fried bacon was always placed in front of Daddy's place. Mother used the hot, smoking skillet of grease for baking our daily bread. Yes, everyday except Sunday we had cornbread.And everyday, Mother cooked beans or black-eyed peas (Daddy was from Alabama so we learned to like Black-eyed peas)


Real treats were chicken on Sunday, pork-chops for breakfast (Mother made awesome brown sop), ham on holidays (courtesy of the coal company), turkey at Christmas, meatloaf occasionally. To me, fried wieners and kraut was the best meat dish--and perfect with soup beans. In spring, Mother picked wild greens in the hills to go with our beans and cornbread, tender spring greens killed with bacon grease, fresh green beans, sliced tomatoes and onions with each meal, new potatoes, cabbage, roshineers, (found out when I was in college this meant "roasting ears"..did you know that?).


Since we were usually 6-10 people, Mother always had tons of potatoes or macaroni with tomatoes or cheese to fill us up. Of course, when we waked home for lunch we found fried bologna, pork n beans, cheese sandwich with a sweet pickle, etc. Once in awhile we charged lunch at the fountain and caused a big fight on payday if Daddy "went in the hole". Fountain food was worth it though. I still think the secret ingredient in their hot dogs was the waxed paper melting down into the food. People quit using waxed paper when Saran Wrap came out and it made a difference in taste. Wrap your hot-dog in waxed paper some time, let it steam, and enjoy a memory. Saturdays was a time for hot dogs and hamburgers. Sunday was a large breakfast with biscuits. Then, Sunday dinner usually had special meat or Chicken and dumplings and several bowls of vegetables and gravy to go with it al, and biscuits or rolls. I don't remember Mother making cornbread on Sundays.


But this is about fixin' my supper yesterday. While a small pot of butter beans cooked with a little salt, olive oil and margarine for seasoning I fixed everything else. I put a little olive oil, into a skillet, added a large can of seasoned mixed greens, threw in some fresh spinach, then as it simmered, I added a can of hominy (I also do this with quartered potatoes) and let it cook down. Mother taught me to let things cook down into the seasoning.


OK, beans are simmering and butter beans --I like the large Limas--take just a little over an hour to cook...so I start on my cornbread. Fresh ground corn meal, (brother Johnny's hand ground is the best), add some flour...guess at it, but no more than 1/4-1/2 cup for my taste. If you use Johnny's Wiley Branch cornmeal, you don't even need to add flour it's so rich and naturally thick. I remember mother scraping fresh corn to get that rich goodness for fried or creamed corn. I added 1 Tbsp baking powder and 1 tsp. salt. Never, never add sugar to cornbread. I taste it sometimes at restaurants and wonder what they're thinking! I made cornbread for my NYC neighbors once and delivered it hot for their evening meal. They saved it for morning and ate it with jam. So, cultural differences come into the cornbread experience.


So I'm making cornbread. I pour some skim milk, adkd about 1/4 Cup veggie oil, then since I need to use up some eggs, I add three into my liquid, beat it up pretty good, and stir into my corn meal.


Today, I decided to fry cornbread since I love it and it's easy and I want a piece real fast. Aunt Olga actually bakes cornbread in an iron skillet on top of the stove. She's the one who taught me that serving the men folk first was, "tradition, not submission". She's the last sibling of my Mother's 12 brothers and sisters.


While I'm cooking, I wish some of my brothers and sisters were with me. We love to eat and will eat almost anything. We talk and taste and talk about life while we cook. Both my brothers are great cooks so we all enjoy the kitchen.


Mind you, I'm cooking this meal for myself. My daughter has a special diet and we're alone here, most of the time.


Here's where I cheated: There was a jar of bacon grease in Sandy's fridge and I thought I'd better use it up, then we won't have any more. So, heated up the bacon grease in a large skillet and started the frying process, 4-5 cakes at a time. Fixed a plate covered with paper and napkins to absorb any extra of that bad old bacon grease, flipped the bread over at just the right time and started taking it up. I hope everyone knows what "taking it up" means. My friends will!


Since I made a lot of batter, I pour me a big glass of milk so I can have hot cornbread and cold milk while I work. Nothing better in this world. So I turn the bread when the little bubbles tell me to and hope they're a little crisp around the edges. I start taking them up. I eat one with my milk, even as I add the next batch to the skillet. Women can do anything! All at the same time! Flip them, take one out, turn them, flip, eat one, turn, take up, eat ...you know the drill. Then I decided I'd better taste those greens and make sure they are seasoned good. Check the butter beans, not done yet, so I have a little, very little plate of the greens and hominy. Cornbread, milk, greens, this is really good.


I'm still standing, mind you, fixing supper, and have already eaten a full meal. Do you ever do that? It's especially fun when you set the table for several people and take care of them; them not knowing of course you've already had a full meal. How noble we women are! When the beans got done, I had just a little of everything to make sure it was a totally good meal. It was. Of course for this final tasting, I sat formally in front of the TV and watched a really bad episode of Maury. Totally decadent meal.

Then, last night about 11 PM, I went downstairs for a snack. Guess what I had? Right. And there's enough for granddaughter who will visit today. She's vegetarian too, so I told Sandy not to tell her about the bacon grease. Not nice of us, but the bread's just too good for her not to eat it.


As the Dawson and Nova Bussey children always said, if we have some cornbread, we can have some cornbread and milk, if we have any milk.
I enjoyed fixin' this meal so much I just had to share.

Peace, Judy
Judy.  
Sharon L Thompson, Ruth Goble, Rod Bussey and 11 others like your post on "fixin' dinner"  

Rosa Shepherd: Judy I still say "fixin" out of habit My grandkids make fun of my talk They are Hoosiers, that's why  
Judy Bussey: We love those Hoosiers anyway, don't we. .what do grandkids know? I'm trying to teach mine something every day. Rosa, I miss hearing people say, "Drekly"..you know, I'll be there drekly" ...(directly, for those who really have no clue what I'm saying) ...I would give a million dollars to hear my mother say that word again.

Tammi Devine-Trzop: My sweet dad uses that cool word "drekly" so I know. Colloquial is fun. Hope your having a groovy day Judy!  

Loyce Kirk: Really enjoyed your fixin' supper story. I can relate. You made me lol.

 Marcia Lewis Varney- I thought that was just a Texas thing!!!!  

Judy Bussey: Wow! Great to know we have all that in common, Marcia!... But you're not from Texas, ..I guess Emogene rubbed off on you and now you're carrying on the tradition in Texas. I think we're all more alike than different♥

Terry Webb Buchanan: Northerners have their own local sayings that seem very strange to us. THEY need to be less critical and/or sarcastic about our sayings. Who understand "going down north"? Marcia's right, I've lived in Texas more of my adult life then I lived in Ky. and it is a common phrase you hear. It was so ingrained in me I hadn't realized I was using a phrase that is common to both states. When Austin brought his settlers to Texas most came from Ky.,Tenn., & Ga. They brought their sayings with them. Hence, the common sayings.

Margo Collins: Judy no matter what it's called.. you do it great! I've eaten the supper's you fix and it's healthy with a country state of mind! ON the other hand I've eaten supper's that should have been" fixed" a little bit better!! I'm ready for a sit down dinner with you and Sandy! ♥  

Barbara Carter Rice: Hi Judy, I always fix supper too!!!! You can't take the mountains out of the girl!

Jawahara Saidullah: This was lovely and reminds me that I must make....errr...fix me some cornbread. Judy, yesterday we were in New York City and ate lunch at a fancy macrobiotic restaurant. Despite knowing better I ordered the macrobiotic corn bread....Yuck!! It tasted like soggy cardboard, Now I want the real stuff.  

Melissa Verne-Leksell: (Granddaughter of the Great Cherokee Bill) I always say, "Gotta fix supper, it ain't gonna fix itself".  

Eileen Markham Lewandowski: I was born a northerner & lived in north until 1989. I, too, say that I need to fix supper. So, there!!! Nancy E Spiggle: I was also born in the north. Both of you are wonderful EKY Appalachians now!

 Eulagene DeBoard: I enjoyed your story of fixin'supper. :)

Toby Ann Bussey Howard: I do the same. I was reading an article in the paper the other day and it was making reference to old sayings in Appalachia. How many of you know what it means to say,"I need to back this letter and mail it to day.' Toby Ann Bussey Howard: I JUST READ THE ARTICLE YOU WROTE. I wished I could have been there to eat the good food you prepared. There's nothing like cornbread and milk or cornbread and beans. If you get real hungry and cannot satisfy your cravings here is what to do. Get a big glass of buttermilk and put cornbread in it and chop an onion (green if one is available) and sometimes a fresh cucumber is added and this will satisfy you. Ask brother John R. about this.

Paul Shepherd: I don't think I've had any corn bread since mom passed away and she lived 400 mile south.How about someone make me a pone and send it by snail mail. Toby, I don't do much backing letters until Christmas, I think they should put peppermint flavoring on so when you back them it will taste good, oops. meant to say lick them.

Venelia Prater Beck: Toby Ann you make me hungry. Gonna go get me some buttermilk and make me some cornbread.                                                                                                               Judy Bussey: I just never liked buttermilk with cornbread..in making cornbread, yes; by itself, yes: but I just never learned to like them together. Next time we're all at Johnny's, let's try it! Paul, I could never match your mama and my cornbread is different every time I make it...but it always tastes good to me. Maybe someday, you'll get a surprise package!

 Paul Shepherd:Now if you want a good snack just before going to bed. Get you a tall glass of cold milk, check to be sure no one has eaten all the corn bread first because if you are set to have it as a snack and it gone, someone going be in big trouble. ...If you are lucky you may find some left over. I don't care how old it is if it ain't turning green it good to go. Crumble it up real good drop it in the cold milk, then grab the black pepper container, shake enough in almost cover the top about half. stir it up real good go in sit down on your bed throw your feet up on the bed sit back on the pillows. take that big table spoon, never use a teaspoon. reach in and dip it full and I guarantee your mouth will meet your arm and spoon halfway. Don't be a pig and slop it up right away savor it and when you are finished you will sleep like a baby. My momma's corn bread stuck together,good brownish yellow, even crust all over about 1/8 inch thick baked in a iron skillet well cured over the years all she had to do was grab the handle make sure she had a pot holder so she didn't burn her hands, law a small towel on the counter flip the iron skillet over and that 10 inch round cornbread fell right out and never stuck or crumbled while you took it out. every day of her life she made two skillets as long as i can remember,Walked in her kitchen a many time see some that was couple days old. what ye going do with this mom, old, feed it to the chickens. well i think i have some if you don't mind. oh Paul honey don't do that it's old let me make you some fresh honey. God I miss her.

 Judy Bussey:Paul,I love some black-pepper sprinkled over my sweet milk and cornbread!
 Elaine Wells Andrusia: Judy, Northerners are funny about our vocabulary, I remember Mommy, daddy Susie and me were going to go up to Joyce's in Columbus Ohio and we stopped at a little restaurant on the side of Rt. 29 (this was way before the new roads came in), guess it was a truck stop or something because daddy got hungry. Daddy ordered "Sweet" Milk and the waitress looked at him like he was nuts. She had no idea what "Sweet" milk was. Daddy had to explain what it was Judy Bussey: Well..how little she knew: He could have wanted "butter" milk--huge difference!  
Wayne DeBoard: Judy, I commend you. I thought everyone in the north except the hillbillies forgot how to cook when microwave started.                                                                                         Milagros LeQuinna Ramos-Elkins: awe, i say that too, always have, and I'm from CT. We're not all ignorant! That is a really wonderful post by the way. I guess i can relate to a lot of what you wrote since my mother is the most Northern assimilated Alabamian I know, but she still is from Alabama. You can change a lot about yourself, but the taste buds are the hardest to go!                                  Judy Bussey: Milagros, the key to your understanding of our language is your Alabama Connection. My dad was also from Alabama.I shouldn't have stereotyped "Northerners".                                 Terry Lea Webb Buchanan: Well, Paul, my husband, Ellis, says you have the right of it, He always asks me to put some corn bread back for him to have as a snack, he fixes it exactly like you described. He was originally from Perry Co.,Ky. But his family spread their wings early, most are in Central Florida, some in Texas, and a few remain in Ky. Corn bread is still a popular item on our menus for supper. I had a hard time learning to cook for just us. I was so use to cooking for our family plus who ever the girls had brought home with them each day. Sometimes I missed that big ol' round table. It was always crowded. It was built to seat 12, but they always found away to squeeze more around it. It was too big for this house so it is gone now, still cooking for 2 is a challenge for me. I made a pot of vegetable beef soup last week, there was so much of it, I was sending care packages to neighbors.                                                                                                                   Sharon L Bussey Thompson: You've got to be kidding me.!!!!!!!! I FIX MY SUPPER AND I ALSO EAT KILT LETTUCE, SURELY YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, ALL MY COUSINS AND FRIENDS WILL.SHANTY                                                                                                                    JoNell Hager Burchett: I plan on fix'n a big pot of pinto beans today along with some good ole cornbread, a big sweet onion, and some sweet cole slaw. Enjoyed your piece Judy!                         JoNell Hager Burchett: I just thought of something that happened when I was living in Wabash, Ind. My sister, Eula, and I went to the same doctor and we always joked around with him and his nurse. One day I got a phone call from his nurse.. She said, "JoNell, you are from Ky. right?" Of course, I said yes. She said "well, we have this guy that came into the ER today and when Dr. asked him what he had eaten for dinner..he said he had some polk..can you tell me what that is?" Laughing, I explained to her about polk...                                                                                                              Judy Bussey: Mother always mixed polk with other greens. It's a pretty powerful natural laxative, could upset the stomach...maybe they didn't mix their polk with other greens and he ended up with a distended abdomen-gas! I wish I'd learned how to pick greens from Mother. You have to know each one. Mother knew so many different types and some of the names were hilarious. It probably wasn't a northerner per se who asked me if dinner was "broken" but the phrase is strange to many. I polled my classes the other day: most say "fix" a meal, but some don't, so ......who knows....great hearing from you!                                                                                                                                                    JoNell Hager Burchett: Yes Judy, that is what I thought as well. Mom knew all those greens too. Like you, I wish I had paid closer attention to the old ways. Enjoyed your piece.                             Terry Lea Webb Buchanan: I have to comment on the 'polk salad'. My grandmother, Hatti Spradlin Webb, knew every plant that grew in our mountains in East Kentucky. Where to find them, the best time of year to pick them, time of... day to pick them (she swore that the time of day would affect the plants edibility or medicinal properties). Mom was almost as good as she was. They also knew which ones would survive transplanting. Mamaw Webb liked for my brother & me to go with her when she gathered her plants. She tried to teach us which were safe to eat, which had medicinal uses, & which were natures way of eliminating some of her creatures. When I think back on how many people picked 'polk' for meals it is a wonder they only got the upset stomach or gas. Monkswood, foxglove ( the plant digitalis comes from), deadly night shade all grow wild in our East Kentucky hills. They are found growing in the same areas as the edible plants used in 'polk salad'. Usually, when someone got an upset stomach it was because, a leaf from one of those plants got into the mix. If too many got in it would cause a death that for all purposes looked like a natural heart attack. 150 years ago, it was common for people to have heart attacks while eating. It was usually thought to be caused by eating to much or too fast. A lot of early murderers escaped detection using foxglove since it is found in our bodies for heart conditions. As an adult, I became afraid to pick it wild for fear I wouldn't see a small shoot of one of those plants among the edible plants. Sometimes knowledge can interfere with the simple pleasures of life. Mamaw showed us how to tell the difference, but as I grew older, I didn't trust my judgment enough to feed it to anyone. I still remember how pretty it looked in the bowl with the shades of greens, purples, & reds mixed together & how good it tasted, Mother made a dressing to pour on it, 2 really, one a hot one, she poured over fresh picked & washed lettuce greens, with crisp, crumbled bacon in it a little vinegar (I believe she used homemade apple cider she had aged), water, & bacon grease. This she poured over the lettuce & serve immediately, usually with hot corn bread & soup beans. It was good. I can't remember when I've had "wilted lettuce". Most folks don't know what you are talking about when you mention "wilted or killed lettuce".                                                  Judy Bussey: I love your stories, Terry and JoNell. I'm a naturalist when it comes to healing, wish I'd known that as a child and I'd have paid more attention to our natural bounty in the hills. Our ancestors were very smart. Since I became a vegetarian about 40 years ago, I've discovered I eat more like we did as a child! Only, without all the bacon grease! Your history is rich Terry. I'm posting this entire commentary on my Appalachian blog site! ♥♥                                                                                Jonell Hager Burchett :Terry, thanks for sharing that delightful information. Yes, my mom had killed or wilted lettuce right up to when she passed in 2002. It was wonderful with cornbread and pinto beans. It was a summer dish made with fresh picked lettuce and... fresh onions from the garden and hot bacon grease. You know, back when I was little mom cooked with lard and bacon grease and we ate big meals three times a day. Mom lived until 82 and dad to 95 so I wonder how they ate all that "bad" food and made it so long. Anyway, I have enjoyed hearing all the stories from back when. Judy Bussey: And, my father died of stroke at age 58, he also had only 25% breathing from years in the coalmine. I wonder if cholesterol was a problem? I have genetic high cholesterol. Even as a vegetarian, I cannot control my cholesterol. Even giving up "grease" doesn't change my numbers. I've refused chemical medication up to this point and try Red Yeast Rice, exercise, and diet. You make a good point Jonell. I'd like to know more bout diet and longevity in our ancestors. We ate healthy, didn't we, except for the lard and animal fat (not healthy, according to today's experts). As I said in the post, my family ate more vegetables than anything. Everyone worked and played  harder back then!                                                                                                                                                  JoNell Burchett Judy, you know, my dad worked in the coal mines too and had black lung. The doctor said his lungs were working at 30%. Yet, he lived a very long and good life. He had open heart surgery at age 81 and still lived to be 95. So, makes me wonder. Most of the food we ate growing up was raised in our garden. Our meat we got from raising chickens and the rest we bought. Today, I am not a vegetarian, but I could easily live the rest of my life without meat.                                               Judy Bussey Daddy's stroke was probably due to the genetic cholesterol that brother Rodney and I inherited. I'm happy you had your father and mother so many years. I know you miss them, it's always too soon to lose your parents. Eulagene said you took care of your mother. You are a good daughter to move your life for her.                                                                                                      JoNell Burchett--I quit my job and sold or gave away all my furniture and moved to Indiana when my parents became unable to care for themselves. Actually, I worked a part time job in Wabash for a while and then mom got too bad and I quit and after she passed I took care of dad the next 3 years until he passed. I was with them for 10 years. Eula was close and she would give me breaks so I could come to Ohio to visit my children. Yes, I miss them very much and I do not complain because I would do it again in a heartbeat if I could. I was happy to be able to give back some of the love and care they gave me growing up. Eula was a big help too. Together, we did it. Thanks for your kind words.                                                                                                                                                         Judy Bussey JoNell, your giving so much to your family is a strong characteristic of our culture...all people aren't like this.....I'm proud of you and admire you and Eulagene. I've had neighbors who don't understand why I always welcomed family members into my home. My motto is/was "you can always come home"..and in your case, "you can always count on me:The greater good of the family is more important than the personal goals I seek for myself. You break the stereotype...you could be a Hollywood movie star and here you are, along with Eulagene, a devoted daughter of your beloved Appalachian parents. ♥                                                                                                                             And from a blog follower Tony Long August 11, 2011 at 3:32 PM Dear Judy, Love this article. I think the term "fixin supper" is strictly a southern term. I was born, raised, and still live in southeastern North Carolina and like you, we "fix supper" every night. The way we generally put it in our house is "I'm gonna go fix some supper". I can especially relate to your Father being from Alabama and his cravings for black-eyed peas. My Mother is from Alabama so black-eyed peas with fat back was on our menu a lot when I was coming up. Thank you very much for the post. Tony Long LivingDiseaseFree.com